"Butt" Wait!!!!

I have a "little" butt... cute though! Pretty round at certain angles and my boyfriend likes it, lol. I used to despise how small my butt was. I never understood how I was as black as night but missed the "black" big butt factor. Most of my freinds have big butts that NEVER go without notice. "Damn girl your butt phat as shiz!" (and of course, he's tapping the guy beside him while pointing and staring with hanging bottom lips). Seems like most guys require [p]hat butts now-a-days before they even consider to talk to a girl. But is that a good thing?? What if you didn't have that [p]hat butt? Would he try to get to know you based on your personality or other physical aspects? Doubt it. You see, most guys don't give a eff about your goals, your morals, your ambitions and/or your personality. They only care about how good you can eff and how far back "it" can bounce. Pardon me?? But what happened to how "wet" it is or just simply how well you can f**k!! Lol. I mean I totally missed the memo people!! And once again, I hope people don't get the WRONG impression and assume that Im jealous of girls with [p]hat butts, or that Im "anti" [p]hat a**es. Because if the truth be told, Im grateful for my little butt and I do no wish for it to exceed pass this limit. I don't want guys staring and pointing at my body or trying to get my number just becuz my butt is sitting "right" in some jeans.

And besides.... everybody's butt is [p]hat when the "lights" go out ;)

On June 30 of this year, I wrote wat some would say was a controversial blog about my opinions and some 'facts' about sororities and fraternities. And since then, someone who I consider[ed] myself friends with, completely changed (for the worse)! Sooo he's on my school campus (and I won't say any names or wat fraternity he's in), but I will say that we do see eachother often. It used to be hugs and hello's, now its no eye contact and a fast pace high school nerd walk [which Im assuming is to avoid me]. Its funny how writing a blog can prove the point that you were trying to make in the first place. So thank you mister. You were my lab rat and my Frankienstein. Thanks for being that frat guy that I "did'nt" see. And please don't think for one second that this blog is written in vein or hostility, because it's quite the contrary. We were never that 'close' for me to be upset, and even if we were, I seriously doubt that I would lose any sleep over this transformation of yours.

Ironically enough, at the end of that June 30 blog piece, I said "If I offended any greeks or orginazations, I DON'T apologize. Because if you're offended, its probably because this refers to you.".... 'chuckles and sighs'. Well I guess this refers to the guy Im writing about now. And guess wat??? I still DON'T APOLOGIZE...

Soo my old "lab rat" is dead.... I think I need another one. Any volunteers?

Self re-assurance check

My forehead is abnormally big... my nose is too ethnic and my hair is way too course.I snore (at the the beginners satge). Im 100% African American and yet.... I have no butt. If I didn't shave I would be as hairy as big foot, I have an over bite the size of Mexico. And thats just my physical apect. I tend to lie at the wrong time and can be quite the manipulator. I over analyze the simplest things making everything more difficult than what it really is, I don't really know who I am yet, I have semi anger issues and can be too opinionated and blunt at times. But Im self-complacent with all of me!!! I love every part of my body inside and out! I don't want to evolve or change and I don't think I need to. Im so glad God made me a "hairy big-nose liar". Im La'Rhonda Yvette Swales =)

I don't want no [thug!]

Someone recently asked me, "what was my type of guy". I quickly said, "I don't have a preference....I like everyone!" And then I paused and even more quickly took back that statement. It took me apporximatley 5secs to realize the falsehood of my statement. I lied 'unconsciously' without really thinking about my "type".

I have a boyfriend... his name is Bernard. But for this piece, pretend like he doesn't exist. So I don't really have a type (at least when it comes to race). But in every other sense, such as personality ect.) I do have a prefernece in guys! Because never in a million years would I consider to have relations or be in a relationship for that matter with a "thug". Though in my youth, I did have my share of "gangsters and thugs". But I don't think that I truly knew any better. I was too caught up in the pleasures of actually being wanted by a guy, that I totally ignored their lackadaisical lifesytles and disgusting habits! I seriously look back and resent myself for those descisions.. (though there is one who surprisingly taught me a lot about myself and life in general). Buy anywho, some of you guys are probably wondering what exactly is my definition of a "thug/hood guy"?. Its a pretty complex question that I can't fully explain in writing. But I will say this; A guy who drinks/smoke marijuana (on a daily basis), who has no job, no goals and or ambitions, no care for hygiene, dread wearing wann-a-be Lil Wayne gettin money (but in reality NOT gettin money), sleep around with any and every brand of girl with no cares or worries about life or the well being of others is my most simplistic definition of a "thug". I do not wish to give the time of day to any guy who posesses ANY of these qualities. I don't consider myself to be judgemental or buji. I just have standards. Forgive me but, I don't think those standards are too much to ask, and trying to change a thug is like a size 14 trying to fit into a size 4... its NOT gonna happen. So I choose to stay away from that type. they have nothing to offer me and vice versa. I don't have a type.... but please... no thugs :)

Taking back [college]

I guess you can say that this is a cliche blog topic. However, I feel it necessary to express my anxiety's and excitement about my junior year in college! Hellz yea Im excited! It seems like just yesterday I was moving into my freshmen dorm with that 'freshmen' scared look. Now Im a college junior with just one more year to go! This year I promised myself that I would really 'try' to get that college experience that everyone talks about. Due to my college being my last choice of higher education, I lacked the ability to enjoy myself and fully indulge in those awesome college years. So I feel like I've missed out. Its kind of saddening, but I plan to compensate for those defeats. My school might not be the biggest and or the richest, but it does have a historical background and a bright vibe to it that a lot of HBCU's don't have. But I think the most important thing that I've brought with me into to my junior year is the support of my wonderful boyfriend of over 2yrs. He's been sticking it out with me and our long distance relationship since my freshmen year. Its been pretty tough at times, but what long distance relationship isn't? He understands that Im a college student and he respects my decisions to affiliate myself with different orginizations and people. Grades have never really been a problem for me. Dean's list and honors are important in my household. And with a single parent home and a low income salary, with two college students and bills.... that kind of motivates me to stay focused and keep in sight what's really important. But I must say that I have an intense schedule this year, so now is the time to be more focused than EVER! Parties, hangovers, late night studying, midterms, exams, drama and a long distance relationship!!! I think I can handle it. LOL =)

Dear ex- bff,

Dear bff,
Or should I say ex bff? Its hard to face the fact that we aren't what we used to be. Eight grade marked the starting point of our freindship. Never thought 6yrs later would be the end. Sure we fell apart sometimes or shared interest in different things, but we always knew our place in eachothers lives (or so I thought). An anonymous informant told me that this would happen, but I chose not to believe that you were capable of destryoying our friendship. So now I feel like a complete jacka**. My imformant was right. As honest and open as I am, I would never give people the satisfaction of telling them what you did. But you know. You kno the f***ed UP decisions you chose to make. You know that sayin, "freinds come and go?" Well let's just say I never thought that would apply to us. Im actually embarassed at the situation. I was so confident in our friendship, that I often laughed at the other friendships you built, thinking that they would never compare to ours. And now the tables have been turned. Im the joke now. I'll admitt, it was saddening at first and I questioned myself, wondering if it was me.. was I not a good listener, was I boring or too judgemental?? But after a while I realized that Im not the one to blame, I did my part. I didnt choose this, you did! So with that being said, Im not mad... Im mad as HELL! But I'll surpass this.

Sincerly,
ure ex-bestfriend : )

Homo[z]exuality

Before I began to share my thoughts on homosexuality, I would like to start off by stating that, I am 126% heterosexual! And there's nothing I enjoy more than the sight of a bare chested, masculine hard PENIS man! To those of you who are homosexual, I apologize for having NO interest in your choice of lifestyle. However, I am "pro" homosexuality and I support all endaveours reagarding its present and future battles against the "anti-gay bashers and biased haters!" I am probably one of the most non judgemental person one will ever come across. I figured: Who am I to cast judgment upon someone when I have my own share of f***ed UP values and morals?! Not to mention that I've broken 8 out of 10 of God's Ten Commandments? I am not validated to look at homosexuality as wrong or repugnant, nor do I feel the need to bash it just because I choose to live differently. I support the gay community because few people seem to realize that they are regular people who share the same got damn planet as the heterosexual community. And sooo that cliche' question still remains: Why should it matter who a person chooses to love or share interest in? Everybody wants to be happy and fufilled right? And if that includes licking or sucking the same sex vagina or cock, then WTF! I estimate that about 70% of the world's population are not realist. Which leaves only 30% (including me) to do all the rationalizing. And this would entail, coming to the realization that we dont live in a f***ing "Utopia" world full of sunshine and rose pedals! We live in a overpopulated, diverse, socially biased and screwed UP world where there are over 10,000 different religions and over a billion different perceptions. How in the hell do people expect others to always agree with their way of thinking and living? Its a simple question really. Its just something people don't fully take into consideration before judging someone elses personal preference. I don't expect everyone to support the gay community and I understand that there are some dickHEADED homophobics that thinks that getting too close to a homosexual person will ultimatley spread a non curable "gay" disease causing everyone to be "gay", that will soon become a pandemic around the world and then everyone will go to hell!!!!! Oh nooo!!! Hahahahahaha!! And so the ending goes as such: I welcome gays with open arms and I encourage them to dismiss the negativity and indulge in HOT sex.... with the opposite sex!... Just like these guys down here!